Friday, 19 October 2012

Men and Decorating

I was having a conversation with a good friend about the frustrations of choosing decorative finishes with your husband. Every husband has a slightly different attitude about decorating but there is generally three camps.

 Number one, the very involved and concerned husband that has a definite view on everything that goes into the house.  There don't tend to be as many of these around but they do exist.  The bonus of this type of husband is that he wants to go along on the shopping trips (no need to drag him), offers his opinion (which can make the choosing process easier if you're indecisive), and gets excited about the outcome (nice to have someone to share that with).
The downside is that if your opinions differ it can make the choosing process more difficult because it becomes a game of compromise and mixing different styles, which can be a challenge without help.

The second husband is the inbetweener.  He may be interested in some aspects of the decorating process and have opinions on certain areas but really not care about others.  For example he may really care about the stone on the fireplace or the chair he'll sit in but could care less about the cushion fabric or the wall color (as long as it isn't that one color he hates).  This can be nice if you're willing to work with him on those areas he's intersted in but still allows you piles of freedom to choose what you like.

The third husband is the I don't care guy.  As long as there is a comfortable spot with a view of the tv and it's not all pink frills, he doesn't want to hear about it.  This is great if you're someone who prefers to make all the decisions yourself. 
This can be very frustrating if you do want some input or assurance that he likes it.  Most of these husbands won't give you much more than an, "I hate it," or, "I don't hate it".  Lot's of women (myself included, as most of the time this is my husband) find this frustrating because you get a design or idea together and show it to him, full of excitement, and all you get is an, "oh ya."  It kind of sucks the wind out of it.  You want him to be as excited as you are and think maybe he hates it or it's no good because he isn't excited.
I have learned that most of the time if he doesn't say he hates it, that's about as good as I'm going to get.  His lack of excitement shouldn't stop me from being excited about it.  It would be the equivilant of him telling me "the most exciting news!  The hockey lockout might be over and they'll probably play the whole season!"  I suppose I don't jump for joy when he says things like that but it doesn't stop him from being excited and watching every game. hahaha
Most of the time when it's all finished those husbands say, "nice," or "better than I thought."  And while it's not jumping up and down with excitement, it's about as close as it'll probably get.  So I'll take it!

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